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Science is a first-rate piece of furniture for a man's upper chamber, if he has common sense on the ground floor. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr., The Poet at the Breakfast-Table, 1872



All of us are experts at practicing virtue at a distance. ~Theodore M. Hesburgh



Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body. ~Richard Steele, Tatler, 1710



Did you ever notice that when you put the words "The" and "IRS" together, it spells "THEIRS?" ~Author Unknown



The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe, to match your nature with Nature. ~Joseph Campbell



The end of labor is to gain leisure. ~Aristotle



A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards. ~Proverbs 29:11



A life spent in constant labor is a life wasted, save a man be such a fool as to regard a fulsome obituary notice as ample reward. ~George Jean Nathan



Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. ~Author Unknown



Dick Cheney had a mild heart attack, but they say he'll soon be able to resume his regular activities. I thought having heart attacks was his regular activity. Anyway, since he's a Republican, the heart isn't a major organ. ~Jay Leno



The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband. ~Joan Rivers



Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason. ~Novalis



Television is simply automated day-dreaming. ~Lee Lovinger



Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it. ~Salvador Dali



Grasp your opportunities, no matter how poor your health; nothing is worse for your health than boredom. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966 Grasp your opportunities, no matter how poor your health; nothing is worse for your health than boredom. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966



How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? ~Woody Allen, "Selections from the Allen Notebooks," Without Feathers, 1975



To many of the modern generations, history, like God, is dead. ~Derek Heather



In the real world, the right thing never happens in the right place and the right time. It is the job of journalists and historians to make it appear that it has. ~Mark Twain



Art, like morality, consists in drawing the line somewhere. ~G.K. Chesterton



Certain flaws are necessary for the whole. It would seem strange if old friends lacked certain quirks. ~Goethe