funny quotes on work

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. ~George Carlin



The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink. ~Fran Lebowitz



Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy. ~Charlie McCarthy



What is the opposite of two? A lonely me, a lonely you. ~Richard Wilbur



Advertising is an environmental striptease for a world of abundance. ~Marshall McLuhan, introduction to Wilson Bryan Key, Subliminal Seduction: Ad Media's Manipulation of a Not So Innocent America, 1974



We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. ~Frederick Keonig



The important thing is this: To be able at any moment to sacrifice that which we are for what we could become. ~Charles DuBois



I like naked women. I'm a bloke. I'm supposed to like them. We're born like that. We like naked women as soon as we're pulled out of one. Halfway down the birth canal we're already enjoying the view. ~Coupling, "Inferno," original airdate 2 June 2000, written by Steven Moffat, spoken by the character Steve



We take the stars from heaven, the red from our mother country, separating it by white stripes, thus showing that we have separated from her, and the white stripes shall go down to posterity, representing our liberty. ~George Washington, attributed



Cooperation is the thorough conviction that nobody can get there unless everybody gets there. ~Virginia Burden, The Process of Intuition



I'll tell you how the sun rose a ribbon at a time. ~Emily Dickinson



Don't do drugs because if you do drugs you'll go to prison, and drugs are really expensive in prison. ~John Hardwick



When friends tell you how awesome you look, drop the "I still have more to go" crap. You worked hard and you deserve the compliment! ~Jillian Michaels



I know that astrology isn't a science... Of course it isn't. It's just an arbitrary set of rules like chess or tennis.... The rules just kind of got there. They don't make any kind of sense except in terms of themselves. But when you start to exercise those rules, all sorts of processes start to happen and you start to find out all sorts of stuff about people. In astrology the rules happen to be about stars and planets, but they could be about ducks and drakes for all the difference it would make. It's just a way of thinking about a problem which lets the shape of that problem begin to emerge. The more rules, the tinier the rules, the more arbitrary they are, the better. It's like throwing a handful of fine graphite dust on a piece of paper to see where the hidden indentations are. It lets you see the words that were written on the piece of paper above it that's now been taken away and hidden. The graphite's not important. It's just the means of revealing their indentations. So you see, astrology's nothing to do with astronomy. It's just to do with people thinking about people. ~Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless



If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely girl. ~H.L. Mencken



There are books so alive that you're always afraid that while you weren't reading, the book has gone and changed, has shifted like a river; while you went on living, it went on living too, and like a river moved on and moved away. No one has stepped twice into the same river. But did anyone ever step twice into the same book? ~Marina Tsvetaeva



If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps life moving, you lose that courage to be, that quality that helps you to go on in spite of all. And so today I still have a dream. ~Martin Luther King, Jr. If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps life moving, you lose that courage to be, that quality that helps you to go on in spite of all. And so today I still have a dream. ~Martin Luther King, Jr., The Trumpet of Conscience, 1968 If you love animals called pets, why do you eat animals called dinner? ~As seen on a shirt at veganstore.com



While grief is fresh, every attempt to divert only irritates. You must wait till it be digested, and then amusement will dissipate the remains of it. ~Samuel Johnson



You never know what you've got until it's gone. ~Author Unknown



I am not impressed by the Ivy League establishments. Of course they graduate the best - it's all they'll take, leaving to others the problem of educating the country. They will give you an education the way the banks will give you money - provided you can prove to their satisfaction that you don't need it. ~Peter DeVries