funny quotes about cousins

You might be a firefighter if you had to extricate someone by cutting the car doors off on one side and realized there was nothing wrong with the doors on the other side. ~Author Unknown



Ods me I marle what pleasure or felicity they have in taking their roguish tobacco. It is good for nothing but to choke a man, and fill him full of smoke and embers. ~Ben Jonson, Every Man in His Humour



Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. ~Phyllis Diller



The living moment is everything. ~D.H. Lawrence



Fooey! The porchlight is burnt out, and I can't see whether it's dark outside or not. ~Dave Beard



History is the transformation of tumultuous conquerors into silent footnotes. ~Paul Eldridge, Maxims for a Modern Man



It is difficult not to wonder whether that combination of elements which produces a machine for labor does not create also a soul of sorts, a dull resentful metallic will, which can rebel at times. ~Pearl S. Buck



God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb



A dream is a microscope through which we look at the hidden occurrences in our soul. ~Erich Fromm (Thanks, Sarah)



Whoso boasteth himself of a false gift is like clouds and wind without rain. ~Proverbs 25:14



Cookies are made of butter and love. ~Norwegian Proverb



My parents told me, "Finish your dinner. People in China and India are starving." I tell my daughters, "Finish your homework. People in India and China are starving for your job." ~Thomas L. Friedman



The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost. ~G.K. Chesterton



Life is an onion and one cries while peeling it. ~French Proverb



Forty is the old age of youth; fifty the youth of old age. ~Victor Hugo



God grant me the courage not to give up what I think is right even though I think it is hopeless. ~Chester W. Nimitz



Though confined to our destiny, we do get to pick the color scheme. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com



Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. ~Author Unknown



A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. ~Douglas Adams



God is the tangential point between zero and infinity. ~Alfred Jarry, Gestes et Opinions du Docteur Faustroll Pataphysicien, 1911