funny quotes on love and relationships

Poetry is nobody's business except the poet's, and everybody else can fuck off. ~Philip Larkin



I get my exercise acting as pallbearer to my friends who exercise. ~Chauncey Depew, also sometimes attributed in slightly different wording to Mark Twain



No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens. ~Abraham Lincoln



Prayer is when you talk to God; meditation is when you listen to God. ~Author Unknown



Laughorisms: humorous aphorisms, a term coined by Ambrose Bierce.



To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times. ~Mark Twain, attributed



Some men's memory is like a box where a man should mingle his jewels with his old shoes. ~George Savile



A university is a college with a stadium seating over 40,000. ~Leonard L. Levinson A university is a college with a stadium seating over 40,000. ~Leonard L. Levinson



They are sick that surfeit with too much, as they that starve with nothing. ~William Shakespeare



Ask yourself whether you are happy and you cease to be so. ~John Stuart Mill, Autobiography, 1873



Poverty is no disgrace to a man, but it is confoundedly inconvenient. ~Sydney Smith, His Wit and Wisdom, 1900



Most people do not pray; they only beg. ~George Bernard Shaw



A full heart has room for everything and an empty heart has room for nothing. ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin



Why are there men and women that while they are nigh me the sunlight expands my blood? Why when they leave me do my pennants of joy sink flat and lank? ~Walt Whitman Why assume so glibly that the God who presumably created the universe is still running it? It is certainly conceivable that He may have finished it and then turned it over to lesser gods to operate. ~H.L. Mencken



Our whole life is solving puzzles. ~Erno Rubik



There is nothing in the world so much like prayer as music is. ~William P. Merrill



Knock on the sky and listen to the sound. ~Zen Saying



Art is not a thing; it is a way. ~Elbert Hubbard



One who walks in another's tracks leaves no footprints. ~Proverb



Sewing fills my days, not to mention the living room, bedroom, and closets. ~Author Unknown