funny wedding quotes
If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun. ~Katherine Hepburn
Success and failure. We think of them as opposites, but they're really not. They're companions - the hero and the sidekick. ~Laurence Shames
It has been said that figures rule the world; maybe. I am quite sure that it is figures which show us whether it is being ruled well or badly. ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, 1830, translated
Women hope men will change after marriage but they don't; men hope women won't change but they do. ~Bettina Arndt, Private Lives, 1986
Bankruptcy stared me in the face, but one thought kept me calm; soon I'd be too poor to need an anti-theft alarm. ~Gina Rothfels
One ought to recognize that the present political chaos is connected with the decay of language, and that one can probably bring about some improvement by starting at the verbal end. If you simplify your English, you are freed from the worst follies of orthodoxy. You cannot speak any of the necessary dialects, and when you make a stupid remark, its stupidity will be obvious, even to yourself. Political language - and with variations this is true of all political parties, from Conservatives to Anarchists - is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind. One cannot change this all in a moment, but one can at least change one's own habits, and from time to time, one can even, if one jeers loudly enough, send some worn-out and useless phrase - some jackboot, Achilles' heel, hotbed, melting pot, acid test, veritable inferno or other lump of verbal refuse - into the dustbin where it belongs. ~George Orwell, "Politics and the English Language," Shooting an Elephant, 1950
Dreams are only thoughts you didn't have time to think about during the day. ~Author Unknown
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects. ~Will Rogers
Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick. ~P.J. O'Rourke
God can pick sense out of a confused prayer. ~Richard Sibbes
It's dead. Alone, most strangely, I live on.
When you aim for perfection, you discover it's a moving target. ~George Fisher
She was a triumph over ugliness, so often more beguiling than real beauty, if only because it contains paradox. In this case, as opposed to the scrupulous method of plain good taste and scientific grooming, the trick had been worked by exaggerating defects; she'd made them ornamental by admitting them boldly. ~Truman Capote, Breakfast at Tiffany's, 1958, about the character Mag Wildwood
A poet looks at the world the way a man looks at a woman. ~Wallace Stevens, Opus Posthumous, 1957
We find things where we look for them, which is why I never look for a golf ball out of bounds. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
After the chills and fever of love, how nice is the 98.6? of marriage! ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960
We swim because we are too sexy for a sport that requires clothes. ~Author Unknown
Perhaps I'm old and tired, but I always think that the chances of finding out what really is going on are so absurdly remote that the only thing to do is to say hang the sense of it and just keep yourself occupied. ~Douglas Adams
I will not carry a gun.... I'll carry your books, I'll carry a torch, I'll carry a tune, I'll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash and carry, carry me back to Old Virginia, I'll even hari-kari if you show me how, but I will not carry a gun! ~Hawkeye, "Officer of the Day," original airdate 24 September 1974, written by Laurence Marks, directed by Hy Averback
Many a one cannot loosen his own fetters, but is nevertheless his friend's emancipator. ~Friedrich Nietzsche